Happy New Year.

I am pathetic. 

I have no friends i just spent the new year celebrating with.

I sat at home and watched as a fire burned. 

12:00 rolled around, I didnt even notice. 

I am pathetic. 

and i am sad. 

Very sad. 

I now have one more resolution to make. Do not feel like this next year. 

I would like to take tonight to realize that all the stuff ive said and done that created this, were absolutly not worth it. 

Im in FUCKING high school and i am not out partying right now. 

I have failed. 

And right now the only hope i have is to simply change. 

I cant believe i feel like this. 

Moving Forward. Sort of.

Well today I did some things that are going to help me get ready again. 

I ordered Precision Nutrition and I am going to use it for my dietary needs. 

I also Meditated yesterday which really helped out with being stressed. 

Another thing i did today was I bench pressed 215 lbs. 5 months ago I could only bench 145. Imagine where i can be in 12 months. 

The principle of Hard Work in turn creates Success comes to mind. 

My favorite thing about the day though was something i heard Steve Jobs say, it went something like"Each morning I would look myself in the mirror and say 'Am i going to enjoy what i am going to do today?' If the answer is No enough days in a row. I need to change something."

Let the countdown begin

We have 4 days until i officially begin my journey. Im mentally preparing myself for it.

I will do this. 

I bought some superfoods to put into my diet, and some new techniques to relieve stress. 

I purchased Acai, the amazonian superfood, and Chia, the seed of the ancient Indian empires. 

I have began doing Heated Yoga, and hope to start doing 2-3 days a week of it. And i also have begun to using Breathing Meditation every morning and night to relax. 

I feel these things will truly help me. 

Commit To Win.

By the time this journey is over, i want to be a new man. 

I want something great to be about me. I want people to look at me and say wow. 

My new goal is to be the leader of my football team. I want to do everything i can to become the best football player and person i can be. I want my teammates to look me in the eyes and know that i would do anything to help them on or off the field. I want to feel the feeling of desire and drive for a certain goal. I want to be THE BEST PERSON I CAN BE.

Momento Mori

I just finished reading Craig Weller's post on his blog in Barefoot Fitness and came across a chart he made labeled "Momento Mori" which means 'one day you will die'.  He has a chart of boxes, 52 wide 80 boxes tall. Each box signifies a week of his life. And each week that passes he crosses it out. I think i am going to begin using this chart myself. I also just came across Precision Nutrition, which i plan on buying and using. It is a very nice program that i believe is dignified to be my nutritional source. Im very unhappy with myself as of right now, my body is fat, i have pimples everywhere, and i am having trouble concentrating on important things. I am in dyer need for a change. Let it be soon, because my true problems are nothing but ones that i have created for myself. 

Im in hell right now. I can stay here and get the shit kicked outta me, or i can fight back into the light. I can climb out of hell. Inch by Inch. 

Xmas

As of right now, I pretty much am dividing this little journey into two parts. January-July and August-December. 

January-July is going to be organization, and frying the fat off of my body. August-December will be my time to pack on pounds of muscle. Starting around January 5th im going to plan out my diet. I got a new laptop today for Xmas, and it should really help me keep up with this blog. 

Im Wasting My Time

Well I havnt done shit since school got out. 

Im moving backwards as of right now. Im thinking about making a system to measure positive/negative, like meals, workouts, classes, sleeping hours. etc. 

I am going out of town tommorow and Xmas day. Then I am going to start to put in my 100% effort to make sure I am going to reach all my goals. 

Starting January 1st, im going to take 3 photos of myself, EVERYDAY. Front, Back and Side. 

Well i am off, Merry Christmas to you and your family.